Young Adult Stepchildren’s Experiences of Relationship with Stepmothers

Abstract

Stepparent-stepchild relationships can be difficult to develop and research suggests that the quality of these relationships impacts on stepfamily functioning and childwellbeing. A significant body of research and clinical knowledge has amassed on the functioning of stepfather families from the perspective of adult stepfamily members. However, there has been less focus on children’s experience of stepparent relationships and stepmother-stepchild relationships. Drawing on qualitative approaches, this study investigated young adult stepchildren’s experiences of relationship with stepmothers to gain insight into the stepmotherstepchild relationship from the perspective of stepchildren. The study has three aims: to gain insight into the stepmother-stepchild relationship from the perspective of stepchildren; to identify experiences that contribute to a positive stepmother-stepchild relationship and those experiences that are difficult and hinder the development of the stepmother-stepchild relationship; and to examine the relationship in terms of its development over time. Twenty-five adults from 18 to 25 who have spent between three and nineteen years within a stepmother family were interviewed about the development of the stepmother relationship over this period. Participants also completed a graph depicting the trajectory of the relationship development over time. Thematic analysis was conducted on the interview data to investigate the positive and difficult experiences in forming the relationship with stepmothers, and narrative analysis of the interview data gave insight into how the individual relationships developed. Overall, three participants experienced a mostly positive relationship with the stepmother, 18 participants experienced a mixture of both positive and difficult periods in the relationship, and four participants had a mainly negative relationship with the stepmother, with few positive experiences. Five narrative progressions were identified. These were titled Positive, Progressive, Decline and recovery, Regressive and Consistently poor. At the end of the narratives, two thirds of the participants had developed a relatively positive relationship with the stepmother and one third of participants had a poor quality relationship with the stepmother. Participants’ positive experiences were represented by four themes: felt supported, stepmother qualities, contributed to a sense of family, and respected existing family relationships. Experiences that were perceived as difficult by stepchildren were represented by four themes: discipline and rules, personality, disrupted relationship with the father, and torn loyalties. The results are discussed in terms of how they contribute to our understanding of stepmother-stepchild relationships within the stepmother-family system. This study fits within the existing body of literature on stepfamily functioning and has implications for clinical work with stepfamilies and for future research.