The Right to Grieve: Lesbian women’s experience of grief and loss from the death of an intimate partner in New Zealand

Abstract

Title The Right to Grieve: Lesbian women’s experience of grief and loss from the death of an intimate partner in New Zealand. Aim To explore the experience of grief and loss of lesbian women bereaved of their intimate partner in New Zealand. Method A qualitative descriptive approach was used. Data was collected by in-depth semi structured interviews. Participants included six self-identified lesbians from throughout New Zealand who had been bereaved of their intimate partner. Thematic analysis was used as a framework to interpret data. Findings The findings highlighted the larger legal and social influences on lesbian grief and loss experience and found that the women’s sexuality is a significant element in their bereavement stories. The women described circumstances that threatened to minimise the significance of their loss and disenfranchise their grief. Actual or fear of potential homophobia or heterosexism affected how healthcare or social support was shaped and undermined some of the women’s self-images as legitimate mourners. Despite this, New Zealand anti-discrimination law and legal recognition of same sex relationships supported the women to assert a social position as a legitimate mourner within family and lesbian support systems. Many participants challenged dominant institutions that typically marginalise and make lesbian grief invisible. Conclusion This research has highlighted the positive impact on grief and loss when lesbians feel able to assert their position as legitimate mourners and when health professionals and social supports recognise and acknowledge the significance of lesbian intimate partner bereavement. The research has implications for lesbian women, nurses and other health professionals in clinical practice, education and policy development. Recommendations are made for nursing practice standards, education and further research on diverse experiences of lesbian grief and loss.