Regulating the Risk of Rejection during Relationship Conflict: Perceived Regard, Emotional Suppression, and Conflict Resolution

Abstract

The way emotions are managed and expressed during conflict should play an important role in facilitating conflict resolution, but the risk of rejection that conflict poses may promote the use of emotion regulation strategies that impede conflict resolution. The current research assessed whether individuals who perceived less regard from their partner during conflict engaged in greater emotional suppression, and whether greater emotional suppression, in turn, reduced conflict resolution. In Study 1, individuals engaged in a conflict discussion with their romantic partner and then reported on the degree to which they felt regarded by their partner during the discussion and generated a solution to the conflict (N = 180 couples). Independent coders rated the degree to which individuals exhibited emotional suppression. In Study 2, individuals reported on their relationship conflict, perceived regard, emotional suppression, and conflict resolution every day across a 3-week period (N = 73 couples). In both studies, lower perceived regard during conflict was associated with greater emotional suppression, and greater emotional suppression was, in turn, associated with lower conflict resolution. These effects were not due to higher levels of stress, upset or negative emotions, lower regard for the partner, or individual differences in attachment insecurity. The results indicate that emotional suppression will often arise to bypass the risk of rejection that occurs when people cannot rely on others’ positive regard, but will also put relationships at further risk by undermining conflict resolution.