Re-membering Identity: A critical autoethnography through arts-based inquiry into being a New Zealand Chinese therapist

Abstract

As an immigrant, I live between two cultures. This research, Re-membering Identity, is an exploration of the concept of in-betweenness, as it occurs within my identity formation process as a New Zealand Chinese arts therapist. Belonging to one of New Zealand’s many ethnic minorities, my identity formation process as an immigrant arts therapist has been impacted by my own past and present, and my interaction with the past and present of others. This arts-based identity study showcases how I embraced the vast creative possibilities of using arts-based inquiry to create an in-between place where I explored the emotions and challenges arising from co-inhabitation of my root culture and adopted culture. This thesis employed the research methodology of critical autoethnography through arts-based inquiry. In this research, I creatively responded to my embodied experiences of intra-action while generating stories of encountering displacement personally and professionally. Theoretical concepts of liminal space and third space were central to the analysis of the stories generated. Through the creation of images and poetry, and through guqin-making and music-making/playing, this research then expands the discussion of the concept of in-betweenness through retheorising ancient Chinese philosophical perspectives on harmonic space. Through critical autoethnographic narratives and arts-making as inquiry, this study proposes that identity formation processes are always entangled with harmonic relationships between here and there, old and new, root culture and adopted culture through a continuous process of renewal. Significantly, through the concept of harmonic space I discovered an alternative ontological perspective through which to understand the dynamics of being in-between a person’s root culture and adopted culture. This research asked what fresh insights arts-based inquiry yields for the study of immigrant identity. Through a critical autoethnographic voice and arts-based methods, I made manifest the importance of finding a balanced stability within in-betweenness for myself as an immigrant arts therapist working in my adopted country. Through the authentic and insightful discoveries from this identity research journey, I have placed a ‘cairn stone’ (which travellers stack as way-markers) for other immigrant educators and help practitioners to creatively and bravely explore their own displacement in their personal and professional lives.